Thursday, March 31, 2005

Top Gun nickname election

Voting closed yesterday in the election to choose Top Gun nicknames for members of the New World Symphony bass section. Like any good Miami-Dade county election, this one included ample opportunities for fraud and miscreance. Two different and somewhat confusing ballots were used, and completed ballots were kept secure by a swatch of packing tape stuck to a manila envelope on my locker.

The election process was completely unregulated and went on for a couple of weeks, though most people only knew about it the last couple of days. Anyone able to operate a pencil was eligible to vote, and 20 ballots were cast, 2 of which were incomplete or illegible. Despite all this, results were fairly conclusive, as follows:

Viper, Merlin, Maverick, Hollywood, Iceman, Wolfman, Steve, and Goose Posted by Hello

Dacy Gillespie - Hollywood
Dacy was chosen as Hollywood by the largest majority of any nickname, 11 votes out of 18 recorded. In the actual movie, Hollywood may have been a big black guy (no one can remember for sure), but Dacy earned his call sign with her sense of style and grace.

Dave DeRiso - Maverick
Eight voters nominated Dave as the short, dark, and handsome hero of Top Gun. As we like to continually remind Dave, "You're dangerous, Maverick - it's not your flying, it's your attitude."

Scott Dixon - Goose
Also with eight votes, Scott was chosen as Maverick's lovable but ill-fated wingman Goose. While the nickname could potentially be pejorative, in Scott's case it seems to reflect an appreciation of him as a great pal rather than a tendency to make squonking noises and bite small children.

Andy Giller - Wolfman
The voters favored Andy decisively with eight votes, possibly reflecting his take-no-prisoners attitude or his nocturnal habits. I don't really know what Andy's nocturnal habits are, it just seems like a Wolfman should have some.

Aaron White - Merlin
Though four voters nominated Aaron as Jester, a majority of six made him our Merlin, based perhaps on his wizened status as our eldest bass player or his magical execution of the finale of Mozart 40.

Matt Heller - Iceman
Matt was likened to the annoying antagonist played by Val Kilmer by a narrow majority of five votes, just one more than voted him as Goose. This would seem to reflect a deeply divided electorate which tilts slightly towards finding Matt a creep.

Sean O'Hara - Viper
In an even closer election, Sean was given this reptilian nickname with five votes, with four each for Jester and Iceman. Perhaps voters were attracted to the silent but deadly connotations, though Sean is not known to be particularly deadly.

Thanks to everyone who voted! Campaigning for cello section Care Bear nicknames will begin soon.